Jeffrey M. Tupas
Inquirer

AT one moment, the audience froze with undivided attention as she talked. In the next, they broke into hearty laughter with her. Then, she again mellowed as she narrated how she nurtured her relationship with her two young children.

Sheila Magpaye (as she is named by media people), 31, is an image of an accomplished and proud mother, telling everyone in the room how she was preparing for the education and future of her children, aged 9 and 11. Beyond the beautiful face and streaked hair is a woman engaged in battle, not only for her and her family but also for many other people.

Magpaye has been living with HIV-AIDS for nine years.

Clad in a brown, sleeveless blouse hidden by a gray cotton blazer, she faced the media to tell her story all over again—her fears and feelings of devastation, survival, advocacy, love affair and marriage to another person with HIV-AIDS (who died eight days after their wedding) and her children.

“As a mother, I often kiss my children. The relationship is still there,” she said as she quickly looked at everyone in the eyes, as if to dispel the common fear and misconception that children might contract the AIDS-causing human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) through her saliva.

Magpaye was diagnosed with HIV in 1998, shortly after her youngest child was born. Since then, she said, she had not expected to reach this far and vowed that she would throw a lavish party should she survive this year.

Family breadwinner

When she was 16 years old, Magpaye was already the family breadwinner. She was forced into prostitution to feed her family and send her eight siblings to school.

“My family was always the reason I was in the ‘industry.’ We needed to eat and my brothers and sister had to go to school. As the eldest member of the family, I had to face any kind of battle,” she said.

“I was disillusioned by the situation and thought that I can escape from the situation by getting pregnant but it only worsened,” she said, referring to her live-in partner for many years.

Magpaye was even forced to work days after her youngest child was born. She was still bleeding and her genital wounds were still fresh.

“I had to go back to work or my baby will die because my breasts were not producing milk. All I was thinking was to have money and buy milk for my child,” she said.

Magpaye decided to be an akyat-barko and offer sex to the crew of foreign-registered boats in one port city in Mindanao in exchange for a large sum of money. While having sex with a Thai, the condom broke.

A year later, she was diagnosed as having the HIV. She found herself embattled by denial, fear, isolation, societal stigma and extreme depression that almost drove her to attempt suicide. Her partner also abandoned her.

Still beautiful

Although her family and several close friends were supportive, Magpaye took three painful years to accept her condition. “Nine years na akong HIV positive … Gwapa lang gihapon (I have been HIV positive for nine years … but still beautiful),” she said.

In Davao City, Magpaye is one of 18 cases of people living with HIV-AIDS that have been recorded since 1984, according to the Alliance Against AIDS (Alagad-Mindanao), which is composed of reproductive health advocates. Seven of the cases are females.

Mike Mahinay of the Alagad-Mindanao said that his group was able to document 44 HIV-AIDS cases all over Mindanao, 21 of whom had already died. General Santos City has nine documented cases, five of whom have died.

As of June, Mahinay said, 33 new cases—17 males and 16 females—had been reported.

As of August, at least 2,566 Filipinos have been recorded as having HIV-AIDS, 1,835 (72 percent) of which showed no signs and symptoms and 731 (28 percent) are AIDS cases. Mahinay said 287 or 39 percent had already died.

Seafarers, helpers

It was also found that 891 (35 percent) HIV cases were overseas Filipino workers (OFWs), 303 (34 percent) of whom were seafarers and 156 (18 percent), domestic helpers. Mahinay said that in 93 percent of the cases, the virus was sexually transmitted.

Magpaye’s children are aware that she has HIV-AIDS, she said. But young as they are, they already grasp what she has been into—an awareness leading to understanding, which, in turn, led to reciprocated love and comforting.

In fact, the two are even aware of the precautionary measures they need to observe for them to avoid getting the virus, she said.

“If they have cuts, they immediately tell me and ask me if I also have open wounds. Then they ask me to clean their wounds and put plaster on it,” she said in a mix of the vernacular and English.

“My children loved to kiss me a lot which prompted me to have all my decaying teeth extracted for fear that I might get gingivitis and thus put them at risk. When I have cough, I see to it that we don’t kiss each other,” she said.

And the fear came when, years ago, one of her children was diagnosed as having a primary complex which prompted Magpaye’s infectious disease specialist to recommend an HIV testing.

“It was like I was floating on air while I was thinking about my child. I was being bombarded by many questions and found myself praying to practically all saints to spare my child… name a saint, I have called them all,” she said.

She explained that she should always keep a happy temperament or else her immune system would again swing low.

“After nine years, I have already accepted it. Perhaps, this is really my life. Still, I am afraid to die and leave my children,” she said.